Stilling My Restless Self1:35 AM
Another entry from my personal retreat time. One of the best things about posting these after I've come back is that it serves as a reminder to what God spoke to me and, in this case, a reminder to be still when I need to be.
I can’t believe how difficult it is for me to be still. Even when I want to be still, I can’t. Or at least I feel I can’t. If I sit for too long, I start to get jittery and feel like I need to do something. This is definitely a problem and an area of my life that I need to change. For me, it takes great discipline to sit still and simply be.
To start out my retreat, I knew I needed to still my restless self. The way I did this was I sat and read for many, many hours. I took a nap and then read some more. After some time had passed, I could literally feel myself getting anxious inside. I resisted the urge to get up and do something and just kept reading. The anxiousness subsided and I began to notice that it got less and less. As with everything, it is taking practice for me to resist the urge to constantly be busy.
Revelation leads to asking God for His help which leads to me walking out the disciplines He sets before me which leads to change, and that’s what drives me to walk this road of changing this thing in my life that has escalated into something that can affect me negatively.